animals, Humour, poetry

Mermaid Juice

Sitting at home this Sunday morning and my partner says something that sounds like “mermaid juice.” OK, I think to myself, there is something funny about that and I begin to write.

Mermaid Juice

“I think I’d like a mermaid juice.” The great white shark said

So she blended up a mermaid and the mermaid juice was red.

“I was feeling pretty funny because I ate a clown

But mermaid juice has fixed my tummy since I drank it down

Now I’ve had my mermaid juice, I want some toast and cheese

But I can’t leave the water, can you call Uber please?

I’d really like a sandwich on some bread that’s brown

I love Uber eats when they bring food down

Thanks for bringing my food but I’m not a fan of bread

She opened up her mouth, bit off the Uber drivers head

Great White Shark was happy with good food in her tummy

An uber driver and a clown and mermaid juice so yummy

There is one more thing, I want some more to eat

So she called the cops and ate some raw pig meat. 

 

If you have liked reading this and have found a litle smile, please share it with your friends to give a little smile to them.

 

Big Kev
animals, Life lessons, poetry, writing

Big Kev the Kookaburra

This morning when I got up there were a lot of birds hanging about the spilt compost bin. There were four bush turkeys, three magpies, a pied currawong and this kookaburra of which I managed to get a few good photos. I like to listen to the messages from the animals and when I am attuned in and calm then the messages flow. 

One of the things I have noticed living in the bush and also being an early riser, is that the kookaburras are often the first birds to wake and anounce their presence in the very first light of the day. I was born in the Chinese year of the “cock” and love the birds. I often wondered what the kookaburras were saying each morning but now I think they are just yelling out “Yip yip yip yipeee its awesome to be alive in this awesomely beautiful world and I am awake to celebrate it, yiiiiippppppeeeeeeee”

This morning’s message comes from Big Kev the Kookaburra

Big Kev the Kookaburra had a lot of need

Big Kev the Kookaburra had a lot of greed

Big Kev the Kookaburra was always swooping down

Picking snakes and lizards up sunning on the ground

 

Kev Kookaburra wasn’t always a big fella

It started when magpie called him Yella

Kev Kookaburra Yelled “I’m not afraid”

The magpie had meant the noise he made

 

Kev Kookaburra yelled’ “I’ve got what it takes

I eat lizards and I eat snakes

I’m not scared and I won’t die

I eat snakes, I’m one tough guy.

 

Kev Kookaburra gave a loud shout

Swooped down and ate a water dragon laying about

Swallowed it into his tummy

Said to the magpie, “that was yummy

 

I’m going looking for more to eat

There’s plenty of lizards and snakes to eat

He flew above the dusty track

Snakes sunning themselves in the outback

 

Kev Kookaburra found so much feed

He couldn’t control his pride and greed

When Kev Kookaburra came back

His stubbies wouldn’t cover his bum crack

 

Kev was heavy and weighed down

His belly stopped him flying around

He sat around, could fly no more

Watched TV sitting on the floor

 

“I showed you magpie, I’m not afraid

See the empire I have made

There’s so much more than I need

Could not fulfil my pride and greed

 

Got so much stuff in my life

I can’t fly now I’ve lost my wife”

Kev Kookaburra was now a real heav

The magpie renamed him Big Kev

 

Big Kev the Kookaburra the magpie said

You can’t fly now you will be dead

If one of those snakes comes along

You’ll never sing your happy song

 

Big Kev Kookaburra will be snake food now

Big Kev can’t get off the ground

Big Kev the Kookaburra said, “I don’t want to die”

I really enjoyed to swoop and fly

 

I want to be like I was before

Not big and fat sitting on the floor

Big Kev yelled, “I’ve had enough”

Pride and greed are not that tough

 

“I’ve seen the error of my way”

Only eat what I need to fly each day

He gave up beer and cream cakes

Now only eats occasional snakes

 

He’s fit and healthy now you see

Wakes up with the sun and sits in a tree

Each morning Kev gives a great big shout

“Eat well Is what life is all about”

 

He laughs about the error of his ways

How he’s happy and healthy always these days

Big Kev Kookaburra flies once more

Swoops and flies and he can soar

 

Big Kev the Kookaburra laughs about it now

How once he was fat like a cow

But now he’s free to fly and soar

Big Kev the Kookaburra is a fit fella sure.