animals, Humour, poetry

Mermaid Juice

Sitting at home this Sunday morning and my partner says something that sounds like “mermaid juice.” OK, I think to myself, there is something funny about that and I begin to write.

Mermaid Juice

“I think I’d like a mermaid juice.” The great white shark said

So she blended up a mermaid and the mermaid juice was red.

“I was feeling pretty funny because I ate a clown

But mermaid juice has fixed my tummy since I drank it down

Now I’ve had my mermaid juice, I want some toast and cheese

But I can’t leave the water, can you call Uber please?

I’d really like a sandwich on some bread that’s brown

I love Uber eats when they bring food down

Thanks for bringing my food but I’m not a fan of bread

She opened up her mouth, bit off the Uber drivers head

Great White Shark was happy with good food in her tummy

An uber driver and a clown and mermaid juice so yummy

There is one more thing, I want some more to eat

So she called the cops and ate some raw pig meat. 

 

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poetry, writing

The floogal of Bligalish

Nimbin, August 2018 and the following words begin to come into my mind, “In the floogal of bligalish the greolopker krusht” I quickly grab a pen and begin to transcribe the “words” that are flowing out. I have one verse and make a meme and publish. Over the next week or two I begin to add a few more verses with the intention of making this piece my entry for the Lismore Poetry Cup.

By mid September I have finished, rehearsed and ready for the Lismore 2018 Poetry Cup. My performance is polished and outstanding. I didn’t win but that’s not what’s important. The important thing is that I have written the following poem which lends itself to all kinds of interpretation.

 

In the floogal of bligalish the Greolopker krusht.

Warkeling slifishly zer klebimed the drulch.

Graablee ended zem hophingly zock.

Hollack hast broidenid Twadchickas plock.

 

Twadchicka conspought ze plock avec Krishsus.

Zey brosht and clept whilst drustopping flistus

But Greolopker notest umd klebimed ze plock.

Avec ze broidenid, slifishly broidenid hock.

 

Krishsus busht a kakaphone of wifkak umd quuck

Whilst Greolopker doknifid umd shut ze kakaphone up.

Slifishly warkled zem triphingly hustock

As the floogal of bligalish wength reglifmok.

 

Krishsus poongth brack umd Twadchicka replockid

Greolopker reklebimed zey instapoet djokid.

Avec ze moglehid boogratcher sluup.

Zifuk fa kryan utelad pluckity zup.

 

Flistus hast koppt zey clepting and brooshting

Summonsid Hollack umd Greolopker slifishly hooshting.

Tall ended slifishly triphingly hustock.

Doknifid nemronivne lagphar till thwock

 

Plock twas ended from Graablee umd strogingly frew

Days umd dark over gone awebrishly through.

In the floogal of bligalish the Greolopker krusht.

Warkeling slifishly zer klebimed the drulch.

 

Graablee ended zem hophingly zock.

Hollack hast broidenid Twadchickas plock.

 

You can also buy my children’s anti-bullying fable “The Flea and the Dinosaur”

online at lulu.com, just click this link